Sunday, April 12, 2009

It's complicated

music: Conor Oberst & MVB - White Shoes



"Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make. You can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years and you may never ever trace it to its source and you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate! But there is. It's what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born, but while alive you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone, or something to make it alright. And it never comes. Or it seems to, but it doesn't really. So you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along, something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry. And the truth is I feel so fucking sad. And the truth is I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long, and for just as long I've been pretending I'm ok just to get along, just for... I don't know why. Maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. Well, fuck everybody. Amen."

"What was once before you, an exciting mysterious future is now behind you. Lived, understood, disappointing. You realize you are not special, you have struggled into existence, and are now slipping silently out of it. This is everyone's experience. Every single one. The specifics hardly matter. Everyone is everyone."

-- Synecdoche, New York

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